getting started

just so's ya know, this is for my sake, not yours, but i will always welcome comments and feedback, whether positive or negative because, as you may soon realise, i am really quite lonely. expect a stream of consciousness.

i'm starting this blog in an effort to get off my chest the things that i feel i cannot tell anyone who knows me. i have an awful lot of negative feeling sometimes and i need ta get it out.

in fact, i'm not so bad just now, it's half six in the morning, i start work at 10 and have not had any sleep tonight. this is common since i stopped drinking. i would consider phoning in sick, but i did that yesterday and i'm not sure that my boss would be too keen on me doing it again.

i gave the genuine reason why i couldn't work yesterday and i went down ok, i think. my boss has been very understanding with me at times, i have been late on more than one occassion.

honesty is a policy that i always seem to embrace, probably for the worst (definitely at times). but fuck, sometimes ya gotta be honest, like when i had ta phone in sick from hospital because i had taken an overdose the previous night. that will kinda let ya boss know that you suffer from depression and things ain't very good at the moment.

anyway, what i am doing now is not how i wanted this blog to go. i am trying to give too much info at once disabling me from going into detail. and that is something that i need to do. i want people to understand what is going on in my head (or at least ta feel like that is what is happening). fuck! let's face it, that is why i took the overdose too. a classic 'cry for help'. but that has connotations that i will delve into at another time

so that is a taster of how i will be writing, random bits of feeling when i feel like it. going for a shower and a pepsi now. i expect i'll be back before i go to work...